Lets Party- Happy Birthday Max! July 26 2015
It's insane to think that 3 whole years have passed since this day! It's funny how now, as a mom, time has a different way of "flying" by and we see each month pass by through the growth of our children. To think that 4.5 years from this date we were set on only having Kaiya. It wasn't that we never wanted more kids- Dan and I always talked about having 3. I’ll admit that if I were a much nicer and less psycho pregnant chick we’d probably have a soccer team. But truth of the matter is when we finally got past the first pregnancy, birth and all the adjustments that come with having a baby we got pretty comfortable with the idea of just having one kid to take care of.
Being a first-time mom was not easy for me. When we had Kaiya we lived in Hoboken and had been married for a little less than a year (I know, bananas, we got pregnant real quick after we got hitched) and we were still working out the kinks of the move. I never adjusted to the frigid winters in NJ and summer wasn't any better in terms of weather…as a California girl I missed being outdoors, and I longed for beach days and time toting my kid around town outside. When we eventually made the decision in 2008 to move to Florida I was stoked to kiss snow days goodbye. The one child comfort level grew and grew and before we knew it Kaiya was 2 then 3 in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t until my mother in law’s mom passed away and seeing her deal with pain as an only child we made the decision to have another baby! I knew I couldn’t let Kaiya go through that pain alone and I wanted her to share in those deep dark moments we humans have to face sometimes in our lives with someone that would truly get it alongside her- no one like your brother or sister can understand what that kind of pain feels like.
We decided to tell Kaiya she was going to be a sister on her 4th Birthday. She wasn’t thrilled to say the least but when the reality of her sibling coming into the picture grew as my overly protruding belly did she warmed up to the idea and started getting pretty excited. While pregnant with Max I felt so disconnected from that pregnancy. I worked my tail off up until the day I had him and gave birth to him exactly how I dreamed I would - quick and without drugs. The minute he was born I took hold of his slimy body, kissed him and told Dan I wanted another one.
Max has been our challenge. His strength and resilience has been our struggle. We know these characteristics will be the ones that will get him far in life when he's all grown but they have been the very ones that have made me want to check myself into the looney bin or just flat out ugly cry when it gets to be unbearable. What I love most about Max is that despite being so strong he is so compassionate. He understands when he hurts others and takes the time to show them he feels awful – a characteristic that he's shown since he was about a year old. That makes me proud. As a mom it makes me happy to know that he can’t be a total douche because he clearly has a heart, a combination that is going to clearly make girls go crazy over him when he’s older.
Max is a total “Team Dad” advocate and jumps on that team on every opportunity. He cracks us up with booty shaking and silliness. This kid has turned our world upside down, in so many good ways. He’s shown me that balance in family doesn’t totally start until you add another kid to the mix. You can never totally lose your mind when you have one even if you get pretty close to it. No two kids have the same personalities and there is no way you love both of your kids exactly the same way. I’ll own that. I adore both of my kids, I adore them both completely different. Max makes me work harder, makes me work towards being more patient, more understanding and less quick to anger. Its because of him I find myself repeating the first 6 words of 1 Corinthians 13:4 - love is patient, love is kind - and I especially make Kaiya repeat them when they are having a day of fighting with each other. He grows me and shows me understanding in ways I never saw possible. He’s intelligent and athletic and just so undeniably cute. I thank God for sending me a little boy that would make me try to be better, to do better and to reflect better. He helps me delight in things that I would take for granted and he shows me what being a complete family feels like. Thanks Max, and happy 3rd Birthday. I love you more than bacon….shake your bonbon, little dude. You melt my heart on the daily!