Hi friends! I’m Natalie, wife to my hunky blue-eyed best friend and mama to my sassy daughter and rambunctious son. I’m also a mess who has been saved by God’s grace.
I had my first child in 2012. While I never spoke to anyone about the way I felt, looking back I know I experienced postpartum depression after her birth. I did not feel like myself for close to a year. I believed I was a fraud. It seemed like all the other moms in my life just “got it” while I was simply pretending to know what I was doing with the whole motherhood thing.
My anxiety continued to increase, and I had my first panic attack in the summer of 2014, though I didn’t know what anxiety or panic were at that time. Out of desperation, I finally reached out for help. I told my family and close friends what was happening, and I began counseling.
I reached a good place and had my son in May 2015. He was the best baby, but my anxiety and depression began to creep in again. I tried to grin and bear it, doing all the things I was supposed to do with my beautiful family: the themed birthday parties, the play dates, the trips to the mall and the playground. But I was unraveling.
In September of 2016 I experienced a period of debilitating anxiety and panic that kept me in my house for two weeks. I had to have someone with me at all times. I have never been more afraid. I begged God to help me get through each morning, I cried to my husband at night because I didn’t want to go to sleep just to wake up and feel that way again. When it was really, really bad, I wondered if it would be easier on everyone if I wasn’t there.
Through endless support from my family and dear friends, I was fortunate enough to find help in counseling, seeing a psychiatrist who helped me find the right medication, so much prayer, and a lot of work.
Once I began to feel healthy and hopeful, I knew I wanted to reach out to other moms battling postpartum depression and anxiety. I had no idea what was happening to me, and I was so afraid of asking for help. I don’t want other moms to feel that fear or that shame. I want us all to know it’s okay to not be okay.
I am so honored to help those mamas through Kaiya Designs. My best pal Leah introduced me to Kaiya Designs because I asked her about every KD outfit she wore incessantly. It was love at first feel for me. The clothes are the perfect mix of style, fun, function, and durability. It’s such a win-win, and I feel so excited about the opportunity to partner with the KD tribe to change to world, one mama at a time.